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Warning: This Post May Be Hazardous To Your Health

(I posted this originally on my other blog sometime last year, and thought it would be more appropriate to give it a new home here.)

Weekends in my family's house have been mostly lazy days for me, especially in the kitchen. But this last weekend had me busy in front of the stove due to popular demand: my Mom wanted pork pata humba and my brother wanted binagoongan, but only if I cooked it myself.

Thus I obliged.

If I may say so myself, my bagoong is to die for (and to die from, if your kidneys are averse to salt overload). It's the coup de grace of my kare-kare, which in turn is one of the most popular features of our C+C catering menu (my sister, right before I left Chicago for Manila last July, begged me to make some kare-kare, which wasn't quite the same as we had to make do with the ready-made bottled stuff so as not to stink up the condo kitchen and wreak havoc with the neighbors). Anyway, I'm not much for proportion, but my timpla involves a lot of white cane vinegar and a massive amount of brown sugar which, when reduced over a slow boil with Pangasinan alamang, is a sweet-salty-sour taste of heaven.


This weekend, I took on making Crispy Binagoongan, which I hadn't made for quite some time. Take about a kilo and a half of pork (pigue or kasim, the less fat the better for your health, the more fat the better for the taste) and cut it up for adobo (or, as our Man Friday did for this particular preparation, for menudo). Boil the pork in enough water with some peppercorns and a little bit of salt and garlic for about half an hour, then drain well. Heat up some oil in a frying pan and saute some garlic and onion (my Dad requested no onions in this dish as they lead to early spoilage and he wanted it to keep...duh, not very many leftovers for this one), take the ginisa out of the pan and fry the pork in batches until slightly crispy. Add back all the pork, the sauteed onions and garlic, and about 1/4 cup of the bagoong (just enough to coat the meat sufficiently). Voila! One heart attack to heaven, coming right up. Eat moderately.

Next dish, yet another doozy of a pork entree: humba made with pork pata (you can also use fatty cuts but you can just as well shoot yourself in the head, heh heh). My Mom likes her stewed ham hocks falling off the bone, so I had the chopped pork leg boiled in garlic and peppercorns to the desired effect. Take the pieces out of the broth, then saute a couple of tablespoons of tausi or salted black beans in a Dutch oven, add in the pork pieces with approximately 1/4 cup soy sauce, 1 cup vinegar, 1 1/2 cups of the broth, 3/4 cup of brown sugar (or to taste; I personally like it sweet), a bay leaf, and a handful of dried banana blossoms. Reduce on a slow boil until the sauce is slightly thick. Serve with very hot rice and a Norvasc.

The good thing about all this is that I don't really eat very much of what I cook (familiarity breeds contempt: I already spent so much time with the food I'm cooking that afterwards I can't find the appetite for it). So I'm going back to my stewed tofu now, thank you very much.

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